Surprises

I suppose it is now time for an update on the past week since I can officially tell everyone. It's amazing to me how quickly God can change our plans. He answers hopes and dreams that we thought would never come true, and it always happens in a way that we don't expect. Exactly a week ago, I gave the entire Head RA position over to God completely. I hadn't been feeling very comfortable about it for a couple of weeks and even more so when I got the email that said I would have to live by myself in a new apartment. To some, that is extremely appealing, but I wasn't willing to compromise. Then, over the next day or two, I began praying about moving back to Burt and found that is what I really wanted. I felt a peace like no other, and I knew it could only be from God. It happened so quickly that I was left in shock at the sudden change of events. I am so happy to be going back. I am so excited about the group God has picked out for next semester.

I know I have a lot I need to work on. I know that the change from being an apartment RA to being in the dorms again won't come easy, but I'm willing to rise up to the challenge because I've no doubt in my mind that this is what God desires for my life. I don't regret coming out to the apartments. I have learned and grown so much in the past year, and I am thankful for every experience I have had here. I'm praying that God will humble me, and I will become the head RA he wants me to be. I've got a lot to learn in the next year, and I'm ready!

In other news, I've realized that I think my wedding planning will go pretty smoothly. I really can't wait for the day when I can get together with my bridesmaids and plan fun things. Mainly, because that means I will get to see my best friends, and I love the thought of that.

I feel like I just want to keep writing and writing, but nothing much has happened other than the RA stuff. I miss my friends a lot right now. It's getting harder in my apartment, but I really shouldn't talk about that.

Here

I'm always exactly where God wants me to be. I may not understand it at the time I enter a situation, but it always becomes clear. I'm here, and that's just fine. I'm here, and he's with me.

Homework

I have lots I want to talk about, but I just don't have the time right now, especially since it's 1 am and there is still homework to be done.

Some facts of the day:

1) I have more homework than I realized
2) I missed seeing one of my best friends. :(
3) I hate homework.
4) I enjoy watching Teen Mom with my sister.
5) Teaven makes me laugh really hard.

Dear Brooke,
I'm sorry my professors are lame and assign so much work for me to do. I promise I will visit soon.

I'll update more later.

Need

I'm praying about going on Beach Reach again. At the beginning of the month, I was positive that I wasn't going to go, but it just seems to keep popping into my head. I don't know what to do. I know that I haven't sought God as much as I should have where this matter is concerned. I don't want this to be a decision that is solely based on my feelings or what I think is best for me. I'm scared to commit my time. I need to find peace about my decision through Christ. To my readers, please pray for me.

I'm semi-lonely, which I know is an awful thing to say since I'm surrounded by people all the time. It's true though. I feel disconnected from life because my world has basically been consumed with homework and Olive Garden. I miss my true friends who were accountability and encouragement. I miss having deep conversations about the works God is doing in our lives. I've learned that every semester brings a change, and I just have to accept it. I know we're all where God has us, and that's all that matters. To my few readers, I miss you.

I need Jesus.

Overwhelmed

This semester is stressing me out already. I have so much to do in each of my classes that I feel overwhelmed eighty percent of the time. Sometimes I just don't think I'm cut out for this school stuff. On the plus side, I am enjoying all of my classes thus far and learning a lot.

Something about this semester is really different for me, but I haven't quite figured it out. Something's changed. Yes, I know obvious things have changed. I no longer have a roommate. Brooke moved to Austin, and Teaven moved to Killeen. But this goes deeper than the surface issues. I don't know. I'm sure I'll blog about it when I figure it out.

They have started to build the new apartments for Indepenence Village, which means they took away a majority of our parking spaces. I'm not too pleased about it, but it will be nice to have even more parking once they are finished. RA interviews are drawing near, so hopefully I'll be finding out if I got Head RA pretty soon.

Tis the season for love. People are getting engaged all the time and I see more and more wedding invitations or save the dates. I'm not going to lie. Sometimes, I get frustrated that I have to wait so long and everyone else can just prance off into the sunset even though Teaven and I have been together longer. Don't get me wrong, I am very thankful for my relationship, and I know that this will be the perfect time for us. I just need patience. I know that during this time, God is preparing us to be the husband and wife we need to be. He's teaching us more and more everyday, and I'm grateful for this time I have to learn more and draw closer to him. That's the most important part.

This has been a random blog, and now I must go do homework. Story of my life.

2009

So, I have been wanting to write a blog about all the things I've learned in 2009 and what a great year it has been, but I just can't seem to find the time to sit down and dig deep into those thoughts. 2009 was a year filled with growth, love, and friendship. After praying long and hard for a friendship that would last and be fufilling, I grew close to some amazing people who are now my best friends. I went way out of my comfort zone and traveled to South Padre Island to tell drunk college kids about Jesus. This experience opened my eyes even more to the depth of God's love for his creation. I broke down and accepted help that I didn't think I needed. In all reality, I needed it more than I ever thought and am glad for the change and growth I experienced in my life during that time. I said, "Yes!" to an amazing man who wants to spend the rest of his life with me, sometimes I'm not too sure why. :) I realized how important family truly is in my life. When I think about all of these things, I can't help but be thankful that I have a loving relationship with my Savior. I am so blessed.


I saw Allye's post in pictures and thought it was a fun idea, so thanks, Allye, for the inspiration.


January:

Teaven and I went to Oklahoma City to watch the ball drop on New Years. It was such an exciting time!

February:

I was blessed with the opportunity to babysit these cute girls everyday after school. They were such fun!

March:

I went on Beach Reach. I was stretched more than I ever thought possible. I was shown just how big and awesome our God is. This was an experience I will never forget.

April:

Formal 2009. I can easily think back 3 years ago when we were headed to his senior prom. It's amazing how far God has brought us.

May:

This day just had to have more than one picture. Pictured here are some of the most amazing women I have ever met. I spent almost everyday with them. We saw each other at our best and worst. We laughed constantly, learned fervently, and loved immensley. 1 Corinthians 13.... :)

June:

As I mentioned, I love my family. We were at a wedding in Waco. The same weekend, Katie came to visit, and we went wedding dress shopping. I can post this now because she is married!!!

July:

Teaven, Terrilynn, Bethany, and I went to Six Flags. It was loads of fun! I think we most enjoyed the tea cups. :)

August:

This month, I began my new journey as an Independence Village RA. There were times when I became so lonely for the girls at Burt, but I knew that I was exactly where God wanted me. We all went on a trip to NASA. It was lots of fun. The second picture is of my Welcome Week group "Freshman 15". It was so fun to be a part of their first week of college!

September:

According to my lack of pictures, not much happened this month. I took Katie and Grant's engagement pictures. It was fun being able to room with her the semester before she got married. Although, with nursing school and wedding planning, she became crabby at times. :)

October:

So, unlike September, October was full of wonderful things. First, Josh, Jordan, Teaven, Abby, Bethany and I went camping in Abilene! It was such a fun trip. Then, I GOT ENGAGED!!! oh man, this was the best day of my life so far. I was shocked speechless. What a wonderful month.

November:

My brother, his new wife and children all visited for Thanksgiving. I had a really good time getting to know Mellissa. I love seeing my nieces and nephews. They are such fun, and it's awesome being able to watch them grow up.

December:

My sister and her family visited from Illinois for Christmas! I love her and her kids so so much. I enjoyed the time I had with them and wish I could see them more often.

Different

Things change when you get engaged. Not only are you obligated to be at your family's house for Christmas, but you have to be at your future family's house at well. Some people cringe at the thought of going to their in-laws, but I get excited. I love them and have been warmly accepted into this new family. They love and treat me as if I were their own daughter, and I can't thank God enough for that. I know that the wedding is still a year and a half away, but they're my family now.

Teaven and I decided to go to Oklahoma to visit his sister and her family as well as his mom. We're leaving on Christmas night, and when I told my little sister, she erupted with anger. "I don't see why you have to leave on Christmas... I can't believe you'd choose your boyfriend over your family." I can relate to how she is feeling. The night after my older sister got married, I cried myself to sleep because I felt like I was losing her forever. It's not easy to accept this change, especially when you don't understand it.

Sometimes I just wish she knew how much I love her. Sometimes I just wish she knew how much I care. I don't know how to show her.

Maybe in time.