I have this problem.
What is the balance between loving yourself and and feeling unworthy of love? Do they coincide? Are they equal? Is it selfish?
I've always been told that in order to love other people, you have to love yourself. I understand this, of course, because the Bible often talks about loving other people just as you love yourself. Naturally, I love myself. I love who God is molding me to be. However, I hold myself to a very high standard, and when I fail to meet that standard, I fail completely. Usually, I can pick myself up pretty quickly; I am easily encouraged. Unfortunately, this has not been true lately. I've never felt so much like I don't deserve to be here, like I am unworthy of being loved, like I'm not good enough, not strong enough. Because I am such a prideful person, I have a hard time admitting my short comings, my failures, to other people. I want people to think the best of me. I don't want them to see me when I am weak. As I think about this, I am reminded of 2 Corinthians 12:9-10, "...My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
I am an imperfect person. I don't deserve to be here. I am unworthy of love. I am not good enough. I am not strong enough.
Thankfully, He is everything I am not. He is perfect. He is worthy of love. He is good enough. He is strong enough.
He will make me strong. Even though it is hard to admit when I fail and I am weak, I know I must delight in this. Why are we made strong in our weakness? Because we realize there is no way we can do it on our own. We fall. We break. We crumble. He picks us up and puts us back together. Not once, not twice...every single time. "...he will remain faithful." 2 Timothy 2:13.
Therefore, I don't need to dwell on my weaknesses. I just need to be aware and push through. I am worthy of love because of Him. If I keep myself out of it, life is so much better.
"I'm not a perfect person
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you"
