Thursday, March 31, 2011

Rambles from a love-struck heart

I've been wanting to write a blog for quite some time now, but every time I think about it, I get distracted doing something else. So much has happened in the past month that I don't even know where to begin. March has been a long month filled with so many wonderful things.

I suppose I will start with Spring Break. I went with Teaven and his youth group to Camp Eagle for three days to do a service project. During this time, I was filled with so much realization of who I had become in the last year or so, and honestly, I wasn't pleased. Seeing as how I hadn't been to camp since elementary school, this was an adventure for me. We took down a fence, sanded a mine, built new trails (which is surprisingly very difficult. Trails just don't appear, people), and cleared brush. At the end of each hard work day, we were able to play. The first day we swam in the river and the second day we went ziplining (so fun!). I loved every minute of it. I loved being around 30 teenagers and being able to impact their lives just as much as they impacted mine. I realized how much I had been living for myself instead of living for something greater than myself. My life recently has been so me, me, me focused that I fail to see the bigger picture. I could go on and on about this realization, but I will spare you. Let's just say, I'm excited for what God has in store for Teaven and me. It was so nice to work side by side furthering the Kingdom of God and knowing that's exactly what we will be doing for the rest of our lives. Our marriage isn't happening just because we love each other; it's happening because we glorify Christ better together than we do apart. And nothing will ever be able to change that.

On to other things, last weekend Teaven and I had our pre-marital counseling retreat. We went into the weekend with low expectations and bad attitudes. We didn't want to go.
Thankfully, we went. We both had so much fun and experienced life together in a way we hadn't before. It was so nice to be able to build community with other couples. We hadn't realized until then how important and beneficial it can be to have other couple friends. On the last night of the retreat, we received letters from our Spiritual Investors, people we had chosen to pray for our marriage. This was such a special time. I could already feel the tears welling up as we opened the first letter and began to read the words on the page. I never knew that such a simple act could be so intimate and special. We will treasure these letters throughout our lives together.

When I think about it, I am still amazed how far God has brought us in our relationship. We've gone from being two twitterpated teens to two adults ready to become one flesh, not just physically. It's crazy to think how much changes and how much God prepares you for marriage when you truly desire it. I never really understood how two people became one, but the concept is quickly becoming much more real to me. Just the thought of how special this time is brings tears to my eyes. I can't thank God enough for this relationship, and as I always tell Teaven, I hope we never forget these moments.

No matter where God takes us... Korea, Russia, or some small apartment in Killen... I know I'll be home wherever I am. I know it sounds cheesy but it's so. stinkin. true.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Just keep me busy

When I get really excited about something, I can't sit still. I have to keep my brain, hands and body moving. I have to make sure that I am passing time as "quickly" as possible, or rather not thinking about every minute as it ticks by.

So, here I sit, anxious and excited for tomorrow afternoon when I hear the final bell ring, signaling my freedom for an entire week. A week already full of things to do, but the busyness doesn't bother me because I get to spend almost everyday with my fiance and family. Rest to me isn't necessarily sleeping all day long and doing nothing, even though that would be nice. Rest is being able to take my mind from the day-to-day things that constantly fill it like an over flowing water fountain. Rest is a break from my hectic, rigid schedule, a change of pace.

When I'm really excited about something, I also get very ADD. I don't even remember what I was typing before because somehow I ended up looking at old pictures from freshman and sophomore year. Strange.

So, to all of you who will be with me the week before my wedding and especially the day before, keep me busy! If I get this excited and ansy about Spring Break, I'll be 100 times worse come the week of June 18. But I so can't wait. Can. Not. Wait. Seriously.

Just keep me busy. :)

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Waiting on the world to change

Wow. I can't believe I went a whole month without blogging.

Student teaching is going well, but as the semester comes closer to an end, I become more nervous about the prospect of a job. For those of you who don't know, the state of Texas is laying off and/or freezing a lot of jobs. Therefore, there won't be many districts that will be hiring for the next school year. Teaven and I are still anxiously awaiting any word from Russia. We are really praying that God places us here, but we understand that this may not be his will. We have been looking into other possibilities of what we can do and where we can go given we do not get accepted to teach in Russia. It's stressful knowing that both of us need to find jobs in the area, stressful not knowing where we will go or what we will be doing, stressful knowing jobs will be even harder to come by. Yet, through it all we have peace. Peace in knowing that God's will trumps ours, and he is ALWAYS faithful. We have seen over and over again how he provides for those who trust him, and in this time, that's all we can do.

These past couple of months it's been so interesting to see how our relationship has changed. We're starting to work as a team as we prepare for marriage. We spend as much time together as possible, which is little but rewarding. And I can tell you, June 18 cannot come soon enough! Only a few months left! Two people who everyone said would never work out will marry each other and prove the world wrong! God is bigger than any plans we may have, and that is so evident to us!

I will try to update more. I feel like there is so much I could say, but this would go on for ages. I am excited about March because it is full of so many wonderful things!