Monday, May 25, 2009

I've started reading the book Love and Respect. I must reflect on what I am learning, instead of moving on and forgetting all that I have read. Even in the first chapter, my eyes are opened to the things I have been missing. Teaven and I have been having some pretty meaningful conversations lately about our relationship. I don't share my deepest thoughts with him, and until now, I haven't understood why this keeps happening. I know that guys generally aren't very emotional people. They don't think in the same way that women do; they aren't as sensitive. Unfortunately, this whole time I have been forgetting that Teaven has feelings. He can be hurt by me and the things I do or say. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He loves to listen to people talk, and the one person he wants to hear the most is not talking. I need to realize that even when he says unkind things to me, his intentions are not to hurt me. It's not because he loves me any less than I love him.


He loves me, and I need to show the respect I have for him. In turn, he will show the love he has for me.


"However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." Ephesians 5:33


Sunday, May 24, 2009

Changes

Where do I go from here?
How do I begin?
Why am I doing this?
Am I excited, truly passionate?
If not, where does my passion lie?
Can I find what I am looking for?
Am I really thinking or just worrying?
Am I doing this for me or because other people think I'm good at it?
Will I be happy?
Will I be able to do this forever?
Do I want to do this forever?
Why didn't I think about this before?
Can I do it?
Do I believe in myself?
Is this what I really want?
What do I really want?
What do you really want?
What am I not seeing?
Am I just too scared?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Will I be able to make this decision?



God, I can only do this with you by my side. Oh, God, please show me what to do. Help me to take away the blindfold and see what's really underneath.