Frustrations

I just need to vent right now.

No matter how hard I've tried or cut back, I can't seem to lose weight. Instead, I keep gaining weight! I am so frustrated and discouraged. I get married in 5 months, and at this rate, I'm not even going to fit into my wedding dress. It truly makes me want to break down and cry because I don't know what else to do other than stop eating all together. (don't worry, I won't do that.) The only thing I think it can be in my birth control. Ever since I have started taking it, I have gained weight.

I don't know what to do. :(

The end to my sad story.

Reflections

I can remember being a little freshman in college, anxiously waiting for my name to be called. RA interviews, answering questions for a panel of RDs and Head RAs, my dream. I can see myself doing this until I graduate, I thought.

Here I sit with only 109 days until graduation, still an RA. However, my dream has changed quite drastically from the dream I had as a little freshman. I'm worn out and ready to be done with this job. I'm ready to live my truest dream: marrying my best friend and joining our lives together on a glorious day in June. I'm ready to graduate and fulfill the passions that God has placed on my heart to become a teacher.

I'm ready for a new change of scenery and a life-long adventure with a wonderful man.

Teaven and I have been fervently praying about going to Russia. We send in our applications at the end of this month, and then we will anxiously await any news about the position. We both feel a strong desire to go there and serve the Lord, but we are still unsure of the direction God is leading. His plan will always prevail over any ideas we get into our heads. However, I am still praying that God will open a place for us there.

Student teaching has been amazing. Today was my first day actually teaching 2 classes. I loved it, but I am going to be tired. The students are wonderful, even though they can't stop talking. It's so nice to know that this is what I want to do for the rest of my life. I hope I never forget these moments so that in my darkest hour of teaching, which I know will come, I can look back and remember the excitement and joy I am experiencing.

I still really haven't reflected on 2010. It was a good year, although I am pleased it is over. I had some amazing experiences with friends. Last year, God revealed a lot to me about myself, a person who never really thought she was screwed up finally realized just how untrue that is. He has and still is bringing healing to my life as I work through issues I didn't even know I had. I am so thankful for everything he has taught me.

Some of my favorite pictures from the year:

Halloween with my future siblings!

Hot Air Balloon Festival in New Mexico

Teaven's mom's wedding in Arkansas

Engagement pictures!

Watermelon eating contest at play day.

Spring Break visiting my sister, brother-in-law, and kids.

Snow day in February

The four roommates at Katie's wedding!

Day One

I suppose I should update since it's been more than a month. Student teaching is off to a great start! It's going to take some getting used to, but it's so nice to be doing something that I am passionate about. I start teaching next week, so this week I'm busy planning my lessons, which I'm realizing I have little time to do outside of school.

Wedding plans are coming along nicely. We start pre-marital counseling at the end of this month. I'm excited and nervous about that. It's crazy how time flies..

Today I started Day 1 of Jillian Michael's 30 day shred, and I am already feeling the pain. It's only a 20 minute workout everyday, but it's intense. I am going to try to blog about it to keep myself accountable.. We'll see how that goes. I wish I had a personal trainer.

Not much else to say right now. I've been trying to get to sleep by 10 every night, so I'm off to bed!