Caramel

This post is dedicated to: Starbucks Caramel. :)

I love it. It's basically the only reason I go to Starbucks.

Yesterday, Teaven and I had our first experience at Genghis Grill. The waitress came up to greet us and startled Teaven. It was quite funny. Then, she chose to sit down and explain how the process worked since we had never been before. She gathered our drink order and left the table. At that moment, Teaven looked at me and said, "I'm still confused." So was I. We looked over the menu one last time before stepping into line where we would be faced with tons of decisions. Chicken? Steak? Shrimp? Yes, please. Spices? Veggies? Sauce? I was nervous it was going to taste awful. We sat down and anxiously awaited for our food to arrive. First bite, delicious. Second bite, wonderful. Success in a bowl! It was interesting to me the differences in flavors between my dish and Teaven's. I liked mine better.

After that, we went to Barnes and Noble to kill time because the movie we wanted to see didn't start for another two and a half hours. I searched that store for Hinds Feet in High Places, but it was nowhere to be found. They said they had four copies, but no one could find a single one. It was strange and disappointing. Then, we went to my house to pick up some things I wanted. On our way there, I was getting grumpy because I really didn't feel like going to a movie, but I was willing to do it if it meant I got more time with Teaven. I didn't want to tell him how I was really feeling, but, of course, he could tell something was wrong. I finally mustered up the nerve to tell him I just felt like going back to him apartment and watching a movie. He told me that I just need to be honest with him. Everything turned out great. We went to Walmart, and he bought me season 10 of friends. Then, we went back to his house and watched the whole first disc. It was lovely.

I drove his car home since it was so late when I left. While I was driving back, he called me and told me there was a surprise in his backseat. Let me tell, you it was the most romantic and wonderful thing he has ever done. :)

Anyways, enough about Teaven. I am currently putting together a playlist of songs for Katie's reception. It's quite exciting.

Today, I honestly did nothing. It was so nice, but I don't like being judged for my actions. Sometimes, I feel that way in my apartment. It makes me tense, and I feel pressured to act a certain way or to hide the way I do act. I know this is wrong, and I should just let people deal with it on their own. I'm learning to deal with it. I'm learning to accept that I am the way I am, and I am not going to hide it just to please other people. It's not an easy task for me.

Pointless

It's been a while.

I feel like my life has been so challenging. I don't like dealing with my emotions. I want everyone to be happy all the time. Yeah, not in this world. Therefore, I'm working on how to deal with my issues, which is tough. I don't really feel like going into it. hah, typical sarah line.

I don't really know what to say other than I'm really tired and ready to be off duty.

I'm taking Katie and Grant's engagement pictures on Saturday. I'm kind of nervous about it because I haven't taken pictures like that in a long time. Hopefully, the weather will be good, and they will turn out looking good. I think Katie and Grant will be a pretty easy couple to photograph.

I really don't want to work this weekend. :( Maybe someone will pick up one of my shifts... yeah, not likely these days. I can still have hope though.

Rain

I miss home. It's really strange to me because it's not often that I long for my family. This year is different though. I really enjoyed being with them this summer.

It's raining really hard outside. I'm on duty. I don't want to be soaking wet when I get home. Maybe it will stop raining while I am walking home. How perfect that would be.

Tonight my post will be a bunch of random thoughts because my brain will not function enough to form deep ones.

I'm kind of nervous about Sunday. I will be seeing a friend who I have not seen since I graduated high school. I was bitter for a very long time because she got married and basically, forgot about me. Or at least that's the way it was in my mind. I've forgiven now, but I hope this meeting isn't awkward. I know Teaven is really excited about seeing her. We used to hang out with her and her husband a lot before they got married. We were both in their wedding. I think it'll be a good reunion.

I don't want to work this weekend. I have too much to do, and all I really want to do is have a relaxing weekend with friends. Unfortunately, I need money. Stupid money.

I really should be studying for my quiz tomorrow. I'm probably going to regret it in the morning.

It's really funny how different it is being a freshman. It's like once you become a junior/senior, you enter a completely different world. Freshman year begins to feel like camp. Always playing with your friends, not really worrying about classes... Then you get into your major courses and freak out because your doing RA stuff, Bible studies, working, other campus stuff, who knows. You're realizing that soon you will be in the real world, and you don't think you're ready. I want to play as long as possible. I want to be carefree as long as possible. I'm not ready for college to end. not yet. I'm not ready to leave all my friends... they won't be a building away anymore. Oh man, I don't want to think about that anymore.

I'm really excited that I'm learning how to cook. I still have a long way to go, but at least I'm getting some good recipes together.

And the rain keeps falling....

Hope

There are times when I am blown away by the way my life is turning out. This is one of those times.

I have no clue how this is going to turn out. I can only hope for the best and that I will be a better person when it's all over. I'm not good at lying to other people, but I'm great at lying to myself. I'm great at shoving my problems under the rug and never dealing with them. Well, now I have to.

"But now, Lord, what do I look for? My hope is in you." Psalm 39:7

"I wait for the LORD, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope." Psalm 130:5

"But as for me, I watch in hope for the LORD, I wait for God my Savior; my God will hear me." Micah 7:7

Ready. Set. Go.

Love

Alright, alright, since I don't really have anything else to say tonight, I will do what I am told.

5 things I love........

1) Friends. They are, essentially, my life. I hate not being around people. I love to talk to them and share stories and feelings. It really takes a lot for me to truly open up to people, and for those of you who are closest to me, please know that I treasure you more than you think.

2) Teaven.. of course, you all knew I was going to choose him. Everyday, I become more thankful to have him in my life, and even though he can frustrate me like no other person can, he will always be there for me. He challenges me and is a picture of Christ.

3) Vacations. I love being able to travel with my family. We relax and enjoy each other so much during this time. Every vacation brings a new adventure. I can't wait to start going on vacations with my kids someday.

4) Crafts. Mainly, scrapbooking. When I am being creative, my mind is taken off of all of my stress. I can relax and just forget about the world for a little while.

5) Laughter. I know this may seem silly, but I love to know that people around me are happy. I love it when friends get together and laugh so hard. These are the times we remember forever.

To be honest, it was hard for me to think of things past the first three. What I love in life is simple: people. They mean everything to me.