Saturday, November 21, 2009

Emotions

My emotions can spin twenty different directions in ten seconds. I can feel mad, hurt, happy, furious, content.... all in a matter of a few seconds. I can't keep track of all of them, so I let the most prominent one overwhelm me and take control. I feel my anger in my fists. I want to punch or throw something. I feel my hurt in my eyes. I want to cry a tiny little river. I feel my disappointment on my shoulders, all of the blame taken upon myself.

Disappointment.

This feeling is most prominent right now.

Somehow, no matter what happens, I am able to take something and twist it so that it becomes my fault. I take complete blame on myself and then become disappointed in my actions. And even, if I don't place the blame on me, I still become disappointed in my feelings. Why do I let my feelings control me? Why do I become blinded in my anger?

Lord, enable me to change.

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