Unmasked

Can I admit something? Are you ready?

I'm a jealous person. There, I said it. I really dislike this quality about me. Well, I'm not sure who really enjoys being jealous. I hate the feelings that come when someone tells me something that I feel I should already know. For example, today Bethany told me that she and Teaven went out to lunch before Spring Break, and for some reason, I didn't know about it. Now, I realize that it is highly possible that Teaven told me and I just forgot, but I still became jealous. Questions like, Why didn't he tell me? Why would he come to Belton to have lunch with her, but I always have to go see him? entered my mind. Now, this would be a completely different story if it was some random girl I didn't know, but I know they're just friends. I shouldn't be jealous because I go out with Josh all the time, and Teaven is fine with it. It even happens with friends every once in a while. I'll get jealous because I'm not invited to something. Why am I so insecure? Why can't I just blow it off and not care? I trust Teaven, and I know he is an amazing guy who loves me immensely. But, for some reason, I can't seem to get over my insecurities. I need a lot of reassurance, and honestly, most of the time I pretend to be stronger than I really am. I don't admit my failures. I try to hide them.

I need to accept who I am. I need Jesus.