Control

Part of my problem is that I don't believe I am strong enough or capable of change.

The other part of my problem is that I don't believe that God is able to change me.

I am not secure in the love Christ has for me, which, in turn, makes me not secure in the love I have for myself.

I don't want that to be true, but it is. I know that I am not strong enough. I know that I am unable to permantly change my behaviors on my own. Sure, I can cover it up for a little while and make it seem like everything is just fine and dandy, but then the same thing happens again. My insecurities shine through. Why do I have such a hard time letting someone else be in control of my life? Why can't I sit back and let God work through me? I keep telling myself over and over again that I don't know what to do, but maybe the reality is I don't want to do it. I fight it with every fiber in my being, and I don't know how to do anything different.

Can I let go?